Friday the 13th...Here it Comes Again

By Valerie X Armstrong

 I come from a rather superstitious family...My grand mother was Irish and always knocked on wood to ward off trouble if she thought she had spoken in a way that might have been a jinx to herself or someone she cared about...She would make sure to toss some salt over her left shoulder if she had happened to spill some, inadvertently.  She swore, when she was a child,  she heard a banshee scream and saw it run away from the house across the street where a neighbor lady had just died (She described the banshee as a tiny hunched old woman wearing a long skirt and a bandana). We always were aware when it was  Friday the Thirteenth, and were especially cautious on those days.

  A lot of this rubbed off on me and I spent many a day trying to avoid cracks in the sidewalk for fear of contributing to my mother somehow breaking her back.  We were keenly aware of black cats crossing our paths while we were driving, and would lick our index fingers and touch them to the inside roof of the car to prevent any ill fate from befalling us from the jaywalking felines.

In the back of my mind I always thought that these superstitions might just be so much goat droppings, but just in case they did have some basis in reality, I treated them with a healthy respect.

My first husband was killed in an accident at work on Friday September 13th.  He was only twenty years old.  We had a small baby only four months old.  Losing my husband was bad enough, but  to lose him on THAT day really freaked me out.  I thought perhaps there really is something to the superstition, although I've read and re-read all about the origin of the legend.  I received little comfort from being told it was only coincidence. 

 What made and still makes matters worse, is that over the past several decades, since my husbands death, the number thirteen is inordinately obvious in my day to day life.  I will awaken in the night and it's always 2:13 or 3:13 or 4:13 on my bedside digital clock...Never a fourteen or a fifteen, or even a twelve, for that matter.  When  ever I glance at the clock during the day...same deal... always a 13.  The number keeps coming up in all different scenarios..It jumps out at me as if it were my husband trying to send me a message from beyond. 

 Unless I have to do  something really important, I'll probably be at home lying low on any given Friday the Thirteenth. I hated sending my kids off to school on those days and I still never fail to let them know when a Friday the 13th is coming up and caution them to be extra careful. 

 Tomorrow is Friday September 13, 2013 , so to all my friends and family, whether superstitious or not, take care and be well.

Always and Forever... Spirit Messages?

By Valerie X Armstrong

If you've never lost anyone close to you, that you dearly loved, you might not understand.  You might dismiss me as a wacky nut job.  I would have thought that myself, before it happened to me.  I was the world's biggest skeptic, putting the Amazing Randi to shame.  Even today, I try to come up with logical reasons that would explain my experiences.

 There is a certain amount of wishful thinking that comes along with the grieving process.  We have a hard time accepting that our loved ones are really gone.  We scan crowds hoping for a glimpse of their faces.  We react with a hopeful start when we hear a voice whose timbre is similar to the one we are missing so badly...We look for signs, any signs, that our loved ones are still close by... and sometimes we get them.

Before my mother passed away, she told me that if there were any way for her to contact me after her death, she would. Strangely, she is the one from whom I have not received any signs that couldn't be explained. 

It began with my sister Ginny's passing in 2002.  We were very close.  During my entire lifetime, I was never apart from her, except for just a few days. 

 When Ginny was here with me at home, during her last few years, I had put a lamp in her room.  It was a doll lamp with an old fashioned girl holding a parasol, dressed in yellow, with long blonde hair.  I told Ginny it reminded me of her.  There were never any problems with the lamp until Ginny passed away.  One day, soon after Ginny was gone, I was in her room and I spoke to her out loud.  I said something like "Ginny, I miss you. I wish you could be here with me".  The lamp flickered.  On many occasions thereafter, when I went in that room and talked to Ginny, the lamp reacted the same way.  It only flickered under those circumstances. I couldn't make it flicker any other way...The bulb wasn't loose.  There was no short in the wiring or the wall socket, and it was plugged in securely.

That was the first experience I had, that couldn't be chalked up to mere coincidence....I didn't hear much more from Ginny, although I still feel her nearby...I think she was trying to assure me that she had successfully made her crossing, and that she was okay.  It did make me feel somewhat better.  Spirits are known for communicating through electrical means.  Supposedly, since they are essentially energy, themselves, they can manipulate things like that.

Most of my communications have been from my late husband, best friend,and soul mate,  Walter.  They started, following his injury at work,in 2008, which proved to be fatal. 

 There were two instances, in the beginning. One was in the Neuro ICU waiting room at the hospital.  Walt was still  "alive", but in a coma.  I think his spirit had already left his body.  I was sitting in the crowded waiting room. The TV was on some kid's channel.  I heard "our" song ("I don't Want to Miss a Thing," by Aerosmith, the theme song from the movie Armageddon), coming from the television... 

   It wasn't a musical TV show. The song just happened to be playing in the background of some scene.

That was the only song I ever heard in that waiting room....Of all the millions of songs and hundreds of TV channels and shows, and only a random few times when I would be sitting there in earshot of that TV, why would that song be played at that moment?  What are the odds?

I  believe Walt was telling me he loved me and it was ok to let him go and remove his life support, as he was really already gone, anyway. 

 The other happened one Sunday while Walt was still in a coma in ICU.  I went to the little Presbyterian church around the corner from me...It is a tiny, old, wooden chapel,  with only a handful of parishioners, all much older than I.  Something compelled me to go to church that day, after not having gone in ages...I went alone..

The sermon was about "Titus" and receiving daily "manna".
Oddly enough,  when Walt was air lifted by helicopter to the hospital they didn't know his name and he was considered a "Doe",  like John Doe...

They had given him a code name in the emergency room, "Doe -'Titus'- April"...

Until I had filled out his paperwork and given them his correct info,  I had to ask to see him by using the name "Titus".

Okay,  the first time I have been to church in I can't remember how long, and the sermon is about "Titus"  and "manna from heaven" saying you will be sustained?

I really think Walt orchestrated that one too, to let me know he is still watching out for me.

One of my family member's son- in- law is a minister.  She goes to church every week.   When I related this story to her,  she said ," 'Titus' is not one they speak of often".

So, just my overactive imagination, or something more?  

A year or two later,  I received another unexplainable communication from Walt.

I was looking at pictures of him online. I was really missing him just about the most I had since he'd been gone.  I was noticing his strong hands in one picture, and the old, worn out, cut-off jeans that were so familiar to me. He was wearing the tee shirt which said "FUN" on the front, which was one word to sum up Walt's personality.

I was sitting in front of the computer sobbing and aching so badly for him I felt like I couldn't stand it another second..
I went to Google and for some reason, I typed in the words, "please come back", in a desperate attempt to reach him.
Right at that moment all the electricity in the house went off!
It came right back on, but for that brief, exact, moment it shut right off. The computer shut down and  re-booted,  all the electric clocks needed re-setting.
I know beyond any shadow of a doubt he was letting me know he is here. There is no other explanation...

It was just like Walt to shut the whole thing off. No flickering of lights for him, like Ginny did (that was typical of her gentle way). Nope, he wanted to make sure I got it. 

The same, exact thing happened again, about a year after that...Once might be a coincidence, but, twice?

Perhaps the next communication was the strangest of all.  Shortly before a recent Christmas, I was out in front by my planter, clipping my rose bushes and unruly Hibiscus. My son, Chris was outside, nearby.  I commented to him that I missed Walt helping me with the yard work.  I always did  the pruning and Walt would pick up the branches and put them in trash bags,  which I think is the worst part of the job.  Just as I was bending down to pick up thorny clippings, I noticed something shiny sticking up vertically, out of an ant hill.  It was sparkling in the sunlight..I reached down and picked it up.  It was a large silver heart shaped charm with diamonds around it .  It was engraved in the middle with the words "Always and Forever".

I almost fainted!  I had never seen that charm before and neither had Chris. No one had been around here that could have dropped it. It was sticking right up in plain sight, right outside my front door, and I found it right after I mentioned Walt. I tried to rationalize it, by thinking it might have been dropped by a crow flying overhead.   But, later that day, when Chris was moving my old computer, he found, underneath it, two things; an old newspaper clipping of Walt's and my engagement, and a gleaming state quarter, which Walt collected .   I think the newspaper clipping and the quarter were there just to confirm who sent the heart, as if there were really any doubt.

I still continue to look for signs from departed loved ones, but some are so obvious, I don't have to look very hard.
Draw your own conclusions. 

My Last Earthly Gift to my Mom

By Valerie X Armstrong

For anyone who doesn't know my family well, this might seem like a strange tale...For those who do know us, it's just another "business as usual" story.  We are a family of artists, writers, and musicians, sprinkled with a little Addams family vibe and an appreciation of subtle humor.  One thing is for sure...We love and respect one another deeply and always try to do the very best to make each other's lives as pleasant as possible. 

We share some of the same traits or idiosyncrasies, nothing terribly weird, just, we like to sit in the aisle seat at theaters, preferably the back row.  We like to be alone at times to reflect on the beauty of nature and embrace the calm.  We love holidays and always make a big deal of them and we don't disbelieve in the hereafter and the presence of our departed loved ones still being close to us as we go about our daily lives.

My mom was a flower child before the time when they were popular.  She was gentle, highly intelligent, creative, talented,loving,and cool. A modern day wood nymph.

She left this earthly plane on August 5, 1981.  I wanted to have her buried in a setting befitting her personality.  The problem was, at the time, I was short of funds...I picked out a very nice cemetery near where we lived so I could visit often.  There were some lovely available spots but they were out of my price range.  I had to settle for a spot that I could afford, which I knew my mother would have hated, but I had no choice at the time. 

 I felt so guilty leaving her there, crowded among strangers, in the middle of the shadeless park, when I knew how much she disliked being in the sun.  She was a redhead and avoided the sun at all costs.  I promised her that day, that I would do what ever I could to get her some shade. 

Several years later when my finances had improved, I decided to have mom moved to one of those beautiful spots I couldn't afford before.  It was right next to a little woodsy park like area..It was the aisle seat with trees and shade and no one else between her and the lovely lush natural woodsy area, so her spirit could cavort with the sprites on a moonlit night.

On Halloween day 1987, a small group of family members gathered at the cemetery with a few seasonal refreshments, and witnessed the moving of my mother from the one spot I knew she would have hated to another that I knew she would have loved.  We gave thanks for being able to do one last thing for mom that we felt she would have thought was the coolest thing ever.  We cried and reminisced about the wonderful former Halloweens we had all spent together and we talked about this day being one we would never forget, and then we smiled.