FEARS
Fears have become so specialized in recent years that there is a veritable smorgasboard of designer fears from which to choose. Once you cut through all the superfluous trappings, they mostly all boil down to the most basic fear plaguing mankind since time immemorial. The all time "Biggie"...Dying. In my opinion a little fear is not necessarily a bad thing. It keeps us from doing things that might make us dead. Many of todays fears are definitely not unfounded. I cannot understand why a person should try to overcome a fear of flying. Why try to convince yourself that you won't be instantly annihilated if the big mechanical bird crashes with you on board? I can't imagine a situation so important to me that I would risk my life to arrive somewhere a few hours sooner. I'll drive or take a boat or a train. There might still be an accident, but despite statistics, I feel my chances of walking or swimming away will be a heck of a lot better. Some of my other concerns, (not even counting terrorism or politicians or 2012) I won't go so far as to call them fears, are:
1.) Planes or space junk like Skylab falling on someplace I might be standing.
2.) Spiders, not in general, but I don't want them in my personal space.
3.) Being hit by a tossed dwarf or a tossed salad.
4.) Banana peels(this I am certain stems from early conditioning by Saturday morning cartoons and Three Stooges movies).
5.) Being in someones trailer during a tornado.
6.) Black cats(not necessarily crossing my path, but forgetting to feed my black cat "Killer", and sitting down to eat a tuna sandwich).
7.) Electro- magnetic fields(high-voltage wires, microwave ovens and electric blankets).
8.) Cancer and cancer "cures".
9.) AIDS
10.) Social Security running out before my time comes.
11.) Destruction of the ozone layer (global warming or second ice age I can't remember which).
12.) Salmonella in chicken and eggs.
13.) Free radicals in cooking oils.
14.) Mercury in fish.
15.) Insecticides in fruit and vegetables.
16.) Antibiotics and steroids in red meat(not to mention cholesterol and fat).
17.) Mosquitoes with encephalitis.
18.) Amoebas in the lakes.
19.) Asbestos, radon and mold in the buildings.
20.) Caffeine as well as the decaffeinating process.
21.) Sugar and sugar substitutes.
22.) Acid rain.
23.) Oil spills.
24.) Overpopulation of whales.
25.) Killer bees.
26.) Aluminum causing Alzheimer's disease(does this mean I can't sit in my folding lawn chair anymore?)
27.) Second hand smoke.
28.) Calling 911 and being put on hold.
29.) My car stalling in rush hour traffic just as my laxative starts to work.
30.) An uprising of the poor in this country and I'll somehow be mistaken for rich.
31.) Being stuck between floors on an escalator.
32.) My deodorant failing.
33.) Overlooked straight pins in new shirts.
34.) Being punished for removing the tags from pillows and mattresses.
35.) Alligators in the sewer.
36.) Finding rat parts in my Pepsi.
37.) Fingers in my chili.
38.) Germs from salad bars.
39.) Television evangelists.
40.) Subliminal satanic messages on my records.
41.) Bottled water.
42.) Lead pipes, lead crystal and lead paint.
43.) Hitch hikers.
44.) Pit bulls.
45.) Product tampering.
46.) Crazy drivers with road rage.
47.) Drive by shootings
48.) Side effects from medicines being worse than the condition you take them for.
49.)Identity theft.
50.) And finally oat bran(I'm not afraid of it, just highly suspicious).
With all this going on, if a person isn't a little nervous, he obviously doesn't understand the situation. We are up against a lot more than our early ancestors whose biggest fears were minor things like the Mastodon and the Saber Tooth Tiger. I guess the best thing for me to do is try to take it all in stride and live as fully as possible without taking any unnecessary risks. After all, I want my life to be interesting and fun, but I want to put off dealing with the "Biggie" as long as possible. VXA©
Fears have become so specialized in recent years that there is a veritable smorgasboard of designer fears from which to choose. Once you cut through all the superfluous trappings, they mostly all boil down to the most basic fear plaguing mankind since time immemorial. The all time "Biggie"...Dying. In my opinion a little fear is not necessarily a bad thing. It keeps us from doing things that might make us dead. Many of todays fears are definitely not unfounded. I cannot understand why a person should try to overcome a fear of flying. Why try to convince yourself that you won't be instantly annihilated if the big mechanical bird crashes with you on board? I can't imagine a situation so important to me that I would risk my life to arrive somewhere a few hours sooner. I'll drive or take a boat or a train. There might still be an accident, but despite statistics, I feel my chances of walking or swimming away will be a heck of a lot better. Some of my other concerns, (not even counting terrorism or politicians or 2012) I won't go so far as to call them fears, are:
1.) Planes or space junk like Skylab falling on someplace I might be standing.
2.) Spiders, not in general, but I don't want them in my personal space.
3.) Being hit by a tossed dwarf or a tossed salad.
4.) Banana peels(this I am certain stems from early conditioning by Saturday morning cartoons and Three Stooges movies).
5.) Being in someones trailer during a tornado.
6.) Black cats(not necessarily crossing my path, but forgetting to feed my black cat "Killer", and sitting down to eat a tuna sandwich).
7.) Electro- magnetic fields(high-voltage wires, microwave ovens and electric blankets).
8.) Cancer and cancer "cures".
9.) AIDS
10.) Social Security running out before my time comes.
11.) Destruction of the ozone layer (global warming or second ice age I can't remember which).
12.) Salmonella in chicken and eggs.
13.) Free radicals in cooking oils.
14.) Mercury in fish.
15.) Insecticides in fruit and vegetables.
16.) Antibiotics and steroids in red meat(not to mention cholesterol and fat).
17.) Mosquitoes with encephalitis.
18.) Amoebas in the lakes.
19.) Asbestos, radon and mold in the buildings.
20.) Caffeine as well as the decaffeinating process.
21.) Sugar and sugar substitutes.
22.) Acid rain.
23.) Oil spills.
24.) Overpopulation of whales.
25.) Killer bees.
26.) Aluminum causing Alzheimer's disease(does this mean I can't sit in my folding lawn chair anymore?)
27.) Second hand smoke.
28.) Calling 911 and being put on hold.
29.) My car stalling in rush hour traffic just as my laxative starts to work.
30.) An uprising of the poor in this country and I'll somehow be mistaken for rich.
31.) Being stuck between floors on an escalator.
32.) My deodorant failing.
33.) Overlooked straight pins in new shirts.
34.) Being punished for removing the tags from pillows and mattresses.
35.) Alligators in the sewer.
36.) Finding rat parts in my Pepsi.
37.) Fingers in my chili.
38.) Germs from salad bars.
39.) Television evangelists.
40.) Subliminal satanic messages on my records.
41.) Bottled water.
42.) Lead pipes, lead crystal and lead paint.
43.) Hitch hikers.
44.) Pit bulls.
45.) Product tampering.
46.) Crazy drivers with road rage.
47.) Drive by shootings
48.) Side effects from medicines being worse than the condition you take them for.
49.)Identity theft.
50.) And finally oat bran(I'm not afraid of it, just highly suspicious).
With all this going on, if a person isn't a little nervous, he obviously doesn't understand the situation. We are up against a lot more than our early ancestors whose biggest fears were minor things like the Mastodon and the Saber Tooth Tiger. I guess the best thing for me to do is try to take it all in stride and live as fully as possible without taking any unnecessary risks. After all, I want my life to be interesting and fun, but I want to put off dealing with the "Biggie" as long as possible. VXA©
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